For Marissa, her children, and everyone standing in the shadows of a diagnosis too cruel to comprehend.
I have walked beside cancer.
I have sat with the fear, endured the chemo, and bore the scars from my own diagnosis. But nothing truly prepares you for what it feels like to watch someone you love suffer through a cancer that doctors still don’t fully understand. That is what glioblastoma did to my dear friend Marissa. She was only 50 years old. A mother of four. A vibrant light in her family and community. On July 6, 2025, she took her final breath surrounded by love, strength, and unimaginable heartbreak.
I keep asking myself, how is this even fair?
Marissa lived right across the street from us. Our kids grew up together, running barefoot between our homes, sharing snacks, secrets, and sleepovers. She was more than a neighbor. She was family. And now, her family is facing one of the most painful losses imaginable. Through messages with her children, I learned how her body slowed in those final days, her eyes opening only for seconds, her breath turning shallow. Her son Joey told me she was “pretty much in a coma.” Her daughter Tiffany explained that the cancer had spread to her brain stem, taking her ability to speak, move, and eventually, to stay awake.
Her medical team had exhausted every option. The focus had shifted to comfort. Hospice stepped in, and her children never left her side. Each of them showed a strength I don’t even have words for.
What is Glioblastoma?
Glioblastoma, also called glioblastoma multiforme (GBM), is an aggressive and fast-growing brain tumor that develops from astrocytes—star-shaped cells that support and nourish neurons. It is classified as a grade 4 astrocytoma, the highest grade, and is the most common malignant primary brain tumor in adults. GBM can occur in the brain or brainstem, most often in the cerebral hemispheres. It invades nearby brain tissue quickly, making complete surgical removal nearly impossible.
Because of its rapid progression and the brain’s natural defenses, glioblastoma often returns even after surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy. The median survival is approximately 12 to 18 months.
Source: https://braintumor.org/brain-tumors/about-brain-tumors/brain-tumor-types/astrocytoma/
Why don’t we know more?
It’s not because people aren’t trying. GBM is difficult to treat largely because of the brain’s natural defense: the blood-brain barrier. This barrier protects the brain from toxins but also keeps out many cancer treatments. In addition, GBM tumors are genetically diverse and aggressive, which makes developing a one-size-fits-all treatment impossible. This complexity leaves patients and families in a fight that medicine is still catching up to.
Source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10341738/
The Human Experience of GBM: What Families See and Feel
Unlike traditional cancer stages, GBM doesn’t follow a neatly defined progression. But from the stories shared with me, and the lived experiences of others, I see four phases that patients and their families often face:
1. The Shock of Diagnosis It often starts with something subtle: headaches, confusion, slurred speech. The diagnosis hits hard and fast. Surgery is scheduled quickly, followed by radiation and chemotherapy.
2. The Fight This is when the patient is still strong. They try to reclaim normalcy, to keep moving forward. Rehab, clinical trials, and endless appointments define this phase. Hope remains, but fatigue and fear quietly move in.
3. The Shift Eventually, symptoms return. The tumor grows back. New scans show new challenges. Conversations become harder. Walking gets shaky. Cognition begins to slip. Families begin preparing, even if they don’t want to say it out loud.
4. The Care and Closeness This is where Marissa was in her final days. Her body slowed. Her brain lost control of breath, speech, and movement. There were brief moments of awareness, but mostly long stretches of unconsciousness. Hospice focused on comfort, dignity, and creating moments of peace in the time that remained.
Source: https://braintumor.org/brain-tumors/about-brain-tumors/brain-tumor-types/astrocytoma/
How Families Can Show Up Through Each Stage
During diagnosis: Take notes. Ask questions. Be present during appointments. Most patients feel too overwhelmed to catch everything being said.
During treatment: Offer rides, prepare meals, and schedule joy. Make space for both hope and grief.
During progression: Start the hard conversations. Ask what they want. Advocate fiercely for quality of life. This is when anticipatory grief begins for many caregivers.
During late-stage care: Bring peace. Speak gently. Touch hands. Play music. Sit in silence. Remind them they are loved. Presence becomes the most powerful expression of support.
My Heart
To Joey, Tiffany, Nick, and Halle – I have no perfect words. I wish I could have stopped this. I wish I could have rewound time. I cried with you. I prayed for your miracle. And even now, as I type this with trembling hands, I want you to know that your mom’s light is still here. Her presence, her courage, and her love live on in each of you.
She was not just a mother. She was joy. She was strength. She was community. And she will always be deeply loved and remembered.
Marissa, your fearless fight will never be forgotten.
A Call to Action
If you are reading this and wondering what you can do, start by learning your family history. Ask questions. Advocate for genetic testing, especially if you or someone in your family has a history of cancer.
While glioblastoma is not typically linked to the most common hereditary cancer syndromes, some rare familial patterns and genetic conditions (such as Li-Fraumeni syndrome or Turcot syndrome) may increase the risk. Talk to a genetic counselor about whether testing is right for you.
Here are a few places you can start:
- The National Society of Genetic Counselors: https://www.nsgc.org/
- The Brain Tumor Network: https://www.braintumornetwork.org/
- American Brain Tumor Association (ABTA): https://www.abta.org/
- National Brain Tumor Society: https://braintumor.org/
You can also support Marissa’s family directly by donating to her GoFundMe: Marissa’s Fearless Fight Go Fund Me
Sources:
- American Association of Neurological Surgeons: https://www.aans.org/Patients/Neurosurgical-Conditions-and-Treatments/Glioblastoma-Multiforme
- National Library of Medicine (NIH): https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10341738/
- National Brain Tumor Society – Astrocytoma/Glioblastoma Overview: https://braintumor.org/brain-tumors/about-brain-tumors/brain-tumor-types/astrocytoma/
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. The content shared in this article is based on personal research, lived experiences, and reflections. It should not be taken as medical advice or used as a substitute for professional guidance, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider with any questions or concerns about your health. Unless otherwise noted and cited, all words are my own and reflect my personal views.
Leave a Reply